Its CD16, trigger day.
I've had EWCM for 3 or 4 days now, but my cervix seems stubbornly low and closed. I suppose the HCG shot should fix all that.
I'm excited. And I'm nervous. I've been here before. Not with this drug, but with others. Thinking that I have "arrived", that *this*, this was the missing piece - this pill, that shot, is the silver bullet, the chink in IF's armor that we can exploit and finally we'll get some results!
What if it doesn't work?
Is that possible? Are there people who don't respond to a trigger shot?
After the metformin didn't regulate my cycles, I was disappointed, but not very surprised. When clomid failed me month after month, though, I was fairly devastated. If this trigger shot doesn't work, I have to go under the knife (laser, whatever). I'm not worked up over this, I'm still in a very zen place right now. And even though surgery would suck, I just see it as one more weapon I can use to fight the PCOS - I am a warrior woman who is not afraid of a few scars. But I do wonder if it will come to that or not. Should I take it for granted that this shot is a sure thing, or should I put my guard up?
I don't think I'll ever stop waiting for the bottom to drop out on me. I know my sister hasn't. Nine - almost 10! - weeks pregnant now and she still cries at every ultrasound appointment. She's so afraid of the silence that might be at the end of the wand. And I don't blame her. How could you not be so permanently changed by something like that? I haven't even experienced anything nearly as bad and I still notice that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop - always. You can't take anything for granted after you've been in the Land of IF for a while...