May 11, 2012

The Cat Came Back

Thank you to everyone who left me such kind and supportive comments on my freak out post. I really think I had a mini mental breakdown and it took me a good 24 hours to put myself back together (with tons and tons of help from M). I am still not feeling very positive or hopeful, but I am managing to keep the doom and gloom thoughts at bay and not cry over every tiny thing.

It helps a lot that we finally figured out what was wrong with our cat: constipation. Seriously?? Those were some scary symptoms for such a simple problem! The vet gave him an enema and got him to pass some feces. We brought him home and offered him some canned food (which he has never eaten in his life) with a little pumpkin puree. He didn't eat right away, but overnight he gobbled it up and licked all the gravy out of the dish. Woohoo! That's progress! If we can get him to eat some more canned food and pumpkin, hopefully he will poop in his pan today or tomorrow. Otherwise we have to go back to the vet for a prescription laxative.

I told my sister, J, on Wednesday that if we haven't made significant strides towards getting pregnant by the end of this year, I may be ready to call it quits. There is so much about PCOS that has to be managed besides the infertility and its very hard to do without drugs I can't be on while TTC. I also think that if we do get pregnant, and keep it, I would be fine with only one child. I don't know that I have the emotional fortitude to go through this a second time. Especially considering Dr. B told me the effects of ovarian drilling only last 3 years at best (then why did Dr. G tell me the effects would last 5 years??).

Mel had an excellent post over at Stirrup Queens called "You will get through this too". Its about surviving Mother's Day, but it can be applied to any difficult event or phase in one's life. I will get through infertility, M's job search, and being poor because I've gotten through other incredibly difficult times in my life before. Its always worst when you are *in* it, but afterwards the trials don't seem as impossibly bad. I'm going to try to keep that in mind while I wait for the light at the end of the tunnel.


  1. I am so glad your cat is okay. A sick pet is very difficult.

    And so is this journey. I hope that things start looking up for you soon (with IF, M's job search, everything), but I know that no matter what, you'll do what's best for you and we'll all be here to support you. Take care!

  2. I'm so glad you are feeling better. Those dark spaces are terrifying and scary.

  3. Oh, what a relief about your cat! We almost lost our pooch 9 months ago and it was one of the most terrifying things I'd ever been through (also happened on a Clomid cycle. Eeps!)

    It's not a matter of *if* you get through this. I know you will- you are strong, smart, loving. You have everything you need. But it's *how* you will get through this that is still the unknown. I wish I could give you the answer, but I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.