January 11, 2012

Remembering to be Thankful

Two years ago today my sister found out she was miscarrying. She was pregnant with triplets. My heart still breaks for her.

In the thick of my sorrows, when I've built up a good momentum for feeling sorry for myself, it can be hard to remember that I have so much to be thankful for. I have not gotten pregnant, that's true - I'm not even ovulating. But I have to admit, this status of things is much preferred to getting pregnant and losing the baby. That's a situation I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

And I should be grateful that I have someone close to me who is going through the same struggles. My sister and I both have PCOS. I don't acknowledge it as often as I should, but my sister is a great comfort to me. We vent at each other and cry with each other and cheer about the silly little triumphs with each other. It would be ten times as hard on me if we were not in this infertility hell together (hey, misery loves company, right?).

I'm going to try to be mindful of these things over the next few months. I'm waiting for Dr. P's office to call with my CD21 progesterone levels (miserable as they will be) and then I'm taking a TTC break. After four medicated cycles with only  one ovulation, I'm at the end of the road with Dr. P. She'll have to refer me out for anything else and I don't have insurance coverage for an infertility specialist. I hate waiting. I hate wasting time when I know my body will only get worse, but I don't have much of a choice. God will teach me patience even if it kills me, I guess.


  1. Hi! I've just stumbled across your blog and I'm glad I did. It's nice to find someone else out there going through a similar experience. I'm only on cycle 1 of Clomid. I had my CD 21 bloodwork done today, and I'm going with a resounding 'No' on ovulating. Anyway, I'm signing up to follow your journey and I wish you all the best. Check out my blog when you get a chance, I'd love the feedback.


  2. Hi, Supermom! I know exactly how you feel about the definite "not consistent with ovulation" blood results. Ugh. When I was starting out with clomid it helped to remember that I was paddling at the shallow end of a very big pool. Then again, worrying about how deep into the pool I'd have to go kinda made me crazy...Ok, scratch that, bad advice. I hope that a few rounds of clomid is all you need to get your BFP! I'll be sure to check out your blog :)