More phone calls to doctor's offices today. Arranged to pick up an order for an SA for my husband, M. He is not thrilled about this, but has resigned himself to his fate. I reminded him that it could be worse - he could be penetrated by a machine. Thanks to trans-vaginal ultrasounds I can now claim I have had sex with a machine. For the love of God, they even put a condom on it. He can spooge in a cup.
I'm excited to be seeing Dr. B in two weeks. I know I'm ready for a break from all this, but it will make me much calmer to have a plan in place and things to accomplish during that break. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I will almost certainly not be pregnant before the summer. I had hoped to be hugely pregnant in time for my 10 year high school reunion... If I don't remember such innocent, ignorant dreams, I can actually relax a little.
Each month I have such amazing plans for why *this* month would be the perfect time to get a BPF. It is setting myself up for disappointment, but I don't know how to stop looking to the future. Our minds play evil tricks on us.
ReplyDeleteI bought my husband a really sexy porn mag before the first time he had to give a sample. I tied it up in a big red bow and put it on the toilet seat. It added a bit of a comic relief to the whole situation. And... he said it helped too :)
It is so hard to not wishfully think of the future possibilities if "this is the month". And I so wish my husband was more laid back about his sexuality. He'd probably be mortified if I bought him a porno mag! I'll have to think of some way to express my solidarity though...
DeleteMy husband has been less than thrilled with all of this too! It's tough on them and I'm realizing it affects them in very different ways.
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