January 23, 2012

Mildly Sub-Fertile?

I don't know if its because I was raised by two nurses, or if its a control thing, or maybe an infertile thing, but it irritates the crap out of me when doctors' offices give you answers like "mildly sub-fertile" "not consistent with ovulation" and other equally ambiguous statements masquerading as useful information. Dude, just give me the NUMBERS. I'll use my google-fu and figure out the answers, thank you.

I didn't expect to hear anything about M's SA until we met with Dr. B tomorrow. Well, the results were also sent to Dr. P's office and they decided to give me a call. The results show, in Dr. P's opinion, we are working with "mildly sub-fertile" sperm. O-kaaaay... What am I supposed to do with this information? What was it? Motility? Morphology? Total quantity?? Liquification?? YOU HAVE TOLD ME NOTHING.

::deep breath:: Honestly, I'm handling the (lack of) information very well. I expected I might cry, or get grumpy or moody. But I have continued about my day in much the same way I expect I would have if the office had not called. And I haven't told anyone either, which is strange for me. I'm one of those people for whom something isn't real until I share it with another person. Although, I guess I am sharing it here with whoever (whomever?) is reading... Nah, you guys don't count ;-)

We have our big consult with Dr. B tomorrow and I can pry the specific numbers out of him, so I don't want to worry about it until then. This does give me about 24 hours to worry about how M will react to the news. I've suspected I would have fertility issues since my body tried to kill me in the 8th grade. Then my sister was diagnosed PCOS a year or two ahead of me, so I had time to get used to the idea that this might be my world. It came on gradually over time, coalescing into a diagnosis in 2006. I don't know what it would be like to have no idea something was wrong and then be slapped in the face with "mildly sub-fertile", whatever the fuck that means...

Dr. P recommended IUI, that's about $1400 per cycle. I don't know how I feel about that. Thank God we are taking a break right now. It gives us time to digest all the new information and come up with an informed decision and plan. And money. It gives us a little more time to come up with all. the. MONEY. Fucking infertility.

On a related note, if you are the praying sort, please keep M in your prayers. He has been looking for a job since November and the *perfect* job just came open at the university I work for. If he got this job...God, I'm afraid to even dream about the amazing possibilities. We'd certainly be able to afford a few IUI cycles, that's for sure. So, yeah, prayers are welcome and appreciated. How's everyone's ICLW going? I'm loving it! ;-)

14 comments:

  1. Best of luck to M!

    Don't feel weird about asking for specific numbers when given results!

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    1. Thank you, Jill - and thanks for visiting!

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  2. Hopefully the meeting tomorrow will bring some much needed clarity. And don't be shy with asking questions and... take notes! I go armed with a post-it pad and pen to each u/s. As my RE is rattles off my follicle sizes, I frantically transcribe them. Yes, I'm *that* patient.

    Our insurance covers nothing either. Stupid insurance. So I totally get how overwhelming the finances of it all are. From here on out, we are looking at dropping at least $1k a month on this stuff. Stupid money. Who needs to eat anyway?

    I'm not the praying type, but I certainly believe in good energy. Watch out because you have some serious good mojo coming your way.

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    1. Thank you for the positive energy, Tami :-) I'm sure once I start monitored cycles I will be that patient too.

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  3. It also seems especially hard for men to hear that kind of news, and there aren't as many male bloggers in the ALI community. But now you are (sadly) experienced at dealing with that kind of info for yourself, you can support him when you have to give him the news :(

    Good luck to M on the job!!!! That sounds amazing! Both for you financially but also emotionally and reproductively!!

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    1. He took it with his typical stoicism it turns out - but then again, once I got the numbers it turned out to not be bad at all. This is why I like to get numbers, LOL.

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  4. Why is it that highly-trained and certified physicians can't give you the answers you are looking for? Every time my doctor says, "looks ok" I don't know if ok means superior, good enough, or average.

    I bet you are googling like crazy to find out what sub-fertile means. I know that IUI can handle some issues with sperm. Good luck!

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    1. Haha, you caught me - Google and I have an unhealthy relationship...

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  5. Hoping for good news with this job!! Hope that the dr appt goes well tomorrow and you get some answers!

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  6. Mildly sub-fertile? That's about as passive aggressive as "involuntarily childless." Blech. I hope your news is good and that he gets the job!

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    1. I literally laughed out loud when I read "involuntarily childless". I think if someone used that phrase with me I'd have to say "thank you captain obvious!"

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  7. Yeah, those medical terms suck. It's almost frankly insulting. Good luck to M! Hope he gets the job!!!

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