I'm going to make a confession here and I ask that you please not judge me. When I entered my temp into Fertility Friend today, it gave me solid cross-hairs. That's not the confession. The confession is that, after many false cross-hairs, I don't put enough stock in them to act like I'm in the two week wait. I just popped 800mg ibuprofen for a killer headache. I washed it down with some caffeinated soda. If I feel like it, I'm going to have a beer sometime in the next two weeks.
I cannot go back into the same obsessive patterns of behavior I used to do. Only to be let down again? No, not gonna happen. Now, I'm not going to intentionally do anything crazy. I'm not gonna go on a bender. A friend's birthday is coming up and M already asked if I would be the DD so he could relax. I'm cool with that. But I'm not going to cut out ALL caffeine, ALL alcohol, ALL N-SAIDS or whatever drugs it is people stop using when they hope and pray they might be sort of maybe very early pregnant. I did that, every month, for many months. All but 2 months it turned out I never even ovulated. Screw. That.
People who drink coffee still get pregnant. People who have a glass of wine with dinner still get pregnant. When you find out you are pregnant, then you stop doing those things.
I've tried doing things one way, now I'm going to try a different way. If I go back to my control freak tendencies, I'm just going to spiral out of control and then go on a rampage when, in 7 days, my temps tank and Fertility Friend takes away my cross-hairs. Fortunately, there are no pregnancy tests in my home. I will not be purchasing any unless my temps stay elevated for 16 days and I don't start spotting.
I know that cutting out non "pregnancy approved" items during the 2WW is the smartest route to take when you are actively TTC. I've just been burned too many times to believe this is for real. Please don't judge me for taking this little risk. I have to do it for the sake of my sanity.