June 28, 2012

Normal

So here's something I know most of you can relate to: I have no earthly idea what it is like to be reproductively "normal". Let me explain why I'm thinking about this.

I am still producing gobs of EWCM. My cervix feels medium/high-ish and is getting softer. I've been struggling with my brain telling me I *have* to have sex now now NOW or I'll miss my chance maybe possibly and OMG what if this never happens again?!?! Old habits die hard. But Saturday will be CD12 and the weekend is when M and I are more likely to have sex anyway. For a "normal" person, fertile symptoms around now would mean that sex over the weekend could produce a pregnancy. I simply can't fathom that. Fertile symptoms for *days* leading up to ovulating as early as CD14?? That sounds like a fairy tale.

I am totally familiar and well versed in the crazy shit a PCOS body is capable of doing. Spotting non-stop for weeks? Been there. Bleeding heavily for days and days? Done that. Absolutely nothing at all for months on end? So old hat. But "normal" fertility? I'm kind of at a loss. I sort of remember what I read in Taking Charge of Your Fertility - I mean I know how this is basically supposed to work. But I'm not super close with any Fertiles that I feel comfortable asking them "So, when do you start to notice EWCM in your cycle?"

And I don't know if my body is behaving like a PCOS body or a "normal" body right now. That is hard for me. It is safest to assume that I'm as not-normal as ever. But there is the chance that the surgery really did help and all that toxic testosterone is out of my system for now...

I have learned so much patience and pragmatism this year, yet I'm clearly a long way from learning patience with my body and my cycles.

In other news that occasionally distracts me from thinking about ovulating, things are really picking up in the job search for M. We hope to hear back about scheduling two more interviews next week! I am praying so hard that he gets a job by the end of the summer!!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, girl, I have been there! I always had regular cycles and often started noticing EWCM around day 10. I'd usually peak between day 13-15. The problem for me was apparently that my body would gear up for everything and then no eggs would be released. I'm rooting for you...you've had your surgery and I have heard of people with PCOS regulating their cycles with dietary changes, which you are doing! Good luck and I hope you can remain calm and enjoy some time with your hubby this weekend:)

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  2. I had that this month. I started getting EWCM on CD 12 which in my brain meant "have sex now!" but I actually didn't end up ovulating til CD 16. Crazy no?

    I think you just might be ovulating hun! Great news!

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  3. On a natural cycle, I tend to see EWCM 1-3 days before ovulation but on injectable cycles Id see it for a full week prior. Either way, I see this as a potentially very good sign!

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  4. Not a Fertile, obviously, but I notice EWCM usually for 2-4 days, with some days being more than others. I hope this leads to a nice, healthy O and this is your new normal.

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