If I never manage to conceive a child of my own, if I give up on this struggle without ever seeing the coveted two lines on the test, I will try to remember *every day* how lucky I am to have never known personally the pain and grief of a miscarriage. I would hope to heaven this thought can temper my sadness and bitterness. Because I have known *too many* women who have experienced that loss, including my sister, and it nearly kills me every time. I don't know how I could go through it myself. I may never realize my dream of motherhood and there is pain and sadness there, but from my position, it seems so far off and blurry - like a dream that isn't happening to me. But to have that dream realized, however briefly, and then *cruelly* snatched away is a pain more severe than I can imagine.
To those of you who have lived through that hell, or are going through it now, you have my deepest sympathy and my greatest admiration for your ability to keep going everyday. You are so much stronger than you know, stronger than I could ever imagine myself being. And I know that is no real comfort, but I still felt that I had to say it.